I'd like to be a guest NPC in as many D&D campaigns as possible. Please put me in yours. If you kill me, please let me know. I'm happy racking up deaths too. 

If you need a more "fantastical" name than Colin, you can reverse my name: Nylokk Gnuhk.

Stat block below.

Colin Y.J. Chung (or Nylokk Gnuhk), Scribe

Medium Humanoid (human), neutral good
Level 8 Bard (College of Copy)

Armor Class 10 (tentree Hoodie, T-shirt & Jeans)
Hit Points 39 (8d8)
Speed 30 ft., swim 30 ft.

Saving Throws Dex +3, Cha +5

Skills Deception +5, History +6, Insight +5, Investigation +9, Performance +5, Persuasion +8

Senses Nearsight 10' (without glasses), passive Perception 12

Languages English, barely passable Cantonese, a few French and German phrases. Fully fluent in 20th-21st C. Pop Culture.

Challenge 1/2 (100 XP)

Spellcasting. Colin is a 8th-level spellcaster. His spellcasting ability is Charisma (spell save DC 13, +5 to hit with spell attacks). He has the following bard spells prepared:

Cantrips (At will): Message, Minor Illusion, Vicious Mockery

1st level (4 slots): Charm Person, Heroism, Illusory Script

2nd level (3 slots): Enthrall, Magic Mouth, Suggestion

3rd level (3 slots): Fear, Hypnotic Pattern, Sending, Speak With Dead

4th level (2 slots): Compulsion, Confusion

Spew Bullshit. As a copywriter who can spin a well-reasoned argument for almost anything, Colin has advantage on persuasion checks.

Google-Fu. Colin can usually find online proof (e.g. scientific studies, misattributed quotes and statistically insignificant results) to back up his bullshit.

Asian Stereotype. Colin is proficient on the piano, guitar, and drums. He finished high school math one year ahead.

ACTIONS

15-inch Macbook Pro + Kinesis Freestyle Pro. Melee or Ranged Weapon Attack: +1 to hit, reach 5 ft. or range 20/60 ft., one target. Hit: 3 (1d4+1) bludgeoning damage.

Sailor 1911 with 21K Gold Rhodium Plating Extra Fine Nib. Melee Weapon Attack: +1 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 3 (1d4+1) piercing damage.